Daddy's Little Girl

Dear daddy,

     If you & mom are reading this it means you all finally received my Christmas card. I know its almost 2 months late, but you wouldn't believe how much shipping is and quite frankly, it cut into my new habit. As you can imagine i had a very snow white Christmas. There was enough coke on my dorm room desk to pay your mortgage until Jesus comes back. I'd also like to introduce you to 2 new additions to the family; Whitney & Gayle. Thats right daddy, I finally got the breast you've always wished mom had.
     Also, just a little update on my studies, i have changed my major from Pre-Med to Underwater Basket Weaving with a concentration in extra large baskets. I know its not exactly the vision you guys had for me but hey, look at the pic on this postcard...shit happens.

Hi, I'm Jesus' Secretary. Sadly daddy's little girl overdosed shortly after the last sentence. But no worries, her coke stash was divided evenly amongst her friends and co-snorters.

Patent Leather So Soft.

Peper Anne (formerly known as the artist who couldnt perform LIVE to save her life, Rihanna) finally released the viedo for "S&M". She literally caught us off guard with this suprise release. There i was massaging my reproductive organ when i learned the video had been released.
Of course i "finished up" before watching, but Ri-Ri did not disappoint her fans. (And by "fans" i mean the REAL ones who were present BEFORE Christopher Ike Brown played Dance Dance Revolution on her face, & the ones who were there to ice her swollen yes afterwards. It was so much spandex and patent leather in that video that my balls cried out "i yield, i yield, i cant hold out any longer".
Ri-Ri sported them Shirley Temple curls i love, givin her the appearance of a modern day Mary Magdalene. I, Jesus' secretary, approve this video.

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