Let He that is without Sin throw Shade.

     While it pains my heart to do this, i must my supress my inner shady ass bitch, and give the infamous Keri Hilson credit for this album, "No Boys Allowed." While i wanted to hate her ass so bad, she slipped up & gave me melody and substance on each song. With that bein said, i had every right to expect this album to be awful. The minute--no, second i heard that SINFUL ass vocal range on "Way You Love Me"; & witnessed her thrustin that dehydrated puss into camera 1, was like watchin a house burn down....FIRE!!!
     Now that 50% of the shade in my Louis V duffle has been thrown, i will walk down this paragraph & sprinkle the rest of it like the flower girl at a wedding. I noticed a couple "things" persay in this "Way You Love Me" video. Aside from havin an all out irrelevant, & C-class celebrity cast, her character's name was "B.B". Coincidently in Beyonce ( aka Diva aka Honey Bey aka one they call the Queen) 's video "Why Dont You Love Me", Beyonce's name was "B.B Homemaker"...but i digress. Keri's album is very entertaining. I was thoroughly pleased and will even go so far as to say i loved it. Well i'll be damned, little Keri has captured my attention.

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The Morning After.

Christmas came extremely fast this year. Kind of like an amateur porn star, but anyhow, I managed to behave through out. Christmas time is all about the birth of sweet, 6lb, 7oz. baby Jesus. Thats how much I weighed so I assume thats how much he was when he slid out too. Afterall, we are created in his image. Though I didn't get the 9mm I wanted for Christmsas, I did find a shotgun in the house. Won't God make a way out of no way! Now give em some praise. *drops mic & pumps off im red bottom usher board shoes* Which is why I have futher more given up on Chris Kringle's power bottomin ass. I jus REFUSE to believe that there is a white man on this Earth who goes around handin out presents to inner-city black kids. Consider yo sleigh stripped.
-Signed, Santa's Helper Bitch

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the EBT epidemic.

BET (EBT) has been the root of all things coon & disgraceful since Bob Johnson relinquished it to Ms. Piggy. Debra L. Lee ought to be damn ashamed. Its like stickin yo dick inside Kat Stacks, hat the fuck have you done. Its been constant awful ass award show after constant awful ass award show. THEN of all things they decide to cut the most educational program since School House Rock...BET UNcut. What is more influential in the black community than big booty strippers in g-strings? *shrugs* The best thing they could have done was bring back The Game. But Debra....BITCH YOU FIRED!

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Robot with a Penis

As many of you may or may not know, the Cool Grey Jordans made their highly anticipated debut into this coon ass world today. Now personally, i never understood the whole Jordan fad. I also never understood being gangbanged by the Deacon board, but hey, im just a robot with a penis. What do i know. Michael Jordan is laughin his ass all the way to the bank while yall rubbin ya ashy ass ankles together to start a fire in ya apartment cuz they cut ya lites out. Yo ass sittin in the dark wit brand new kicks on & cant even see em...but i digress. Lifes a gap, so get some money in between. Just dont spend it on them recycled ass Cool Greys.

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Kung Pao Bitch, Kung Pao!

I feel that it is only fitting that i squint my eyes as i write this: (-_-)

So today I took my lil black happy ass to Miyabi Kyoto's Japanese Steak House and decided i would try Sushi for the first time.  Can you believe they wouldn't let me purchase alcohol because i'm 19. I mean what the hell kind of country do we live in. They mite as well hand every child their very own pistol wen they reach the age of 3. So to compensate for the U.S's fuckery,  i made his ass put salt around my lemonade glass and drop some fruit in that hoe. So there i was sittin at the table wit this 80's haircut, feelin all oriental and shit. Now the concept of Sushi is just divine...however, whoever's idea it was to wrap them using that SINFUL ass seaweed should be burned at stake in front of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ himself on national television (ABC to be exact).*faints* That damn seaweed tasted like it was pulled from the Little Mermaid's ass then prepared in Hell's Kitchen where it sat for the same amount of time it took Phaedra to have that alien ass baby. The Kentucky Roll & Crunchy Shrimp Roll were my favorite of the nite.

Cedric The not so entertaining Entertainer

So its no secret that Ciara aka (Cedric)'s album didnt do so hot. 37,000 copies to be exact, and thats prolly after they rounded it up by 3,000. But what i find even more hilarious is the fact that all her "fans" have abandoned her because it didn't sell, being that half of you downloaded it. Had her management not been so busy tryna figure out whether to tape her penis to the left or the right leg, maybe her album mite have been well received. "Basic Instinct" was actually very enjoyable, but because her management failed to promote it, it was about as popular as Bobby Valentino's return to music, and about as important as him changin his name. *climbs out of casket and rolls stone away* Her #43 debut could have been worse, it could have been #42.  Now smile and sip that tea bitches.